The self IS relatedness; the self doesn’t exist without relationship. Only when the self mirrors itself in so many mirrors does it really exist — then it has roots. You can never come to your self by building a meditation hut on top of Mount Everest; you will only be visited by your own ghosts and that is not individuation: you are all alone with yourself and THE self doesn’t exist . . . Not that you ARE, but that you DO is the self. The self appears in your deeds, and deeds always mean relationship.